The Night Before Christmas
by Paladeus
Summary: T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the village, only one Hyuuga was stirring, hoping to Plunder and Pillage." Naruto-based version of the popular Christmas poem. Non-shippy, satirical poem version. Story version to come.


Title: T'was the Night Before Christmas (Poem Version)

Ship: N/A

Rating: K – Everyone

Warnings: Theft (termed 'borrowing' within)

Tags: Santa, Elf!Naruto, Santa!Hinata, Christmas, Satire Poem, "The Night Before Christmas"

Setting: Konoha, Ninja Village.

Ages: Approximately seven or eight.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nor do I own the original poem "The Night Before Christmas" in which was obviously the inspiration for this.

xXxXxXx

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the village

Only one Hyuuga was stirring, hoping to Plunder and Pillage.

Hinata had plotted and planned with care,

Hoping to pilfer presents from here and from there.

Naruto was dressed in 'borrowed' elf gear,

Wondering why Hinata had hooked a sleigh upon his rear.

Hinata at the reins, and the blonde in reindeer lead,

Made off to Konoha with all due speed.

The first house loomed, large and bright,

Presents for the picking, off into the night.

Pilfered and yoinked, out from under the tree,

Giggling like mad, the two bandits did flee.

From house to house, they filled their stolen sleigh high,

Hinata giggled, "We'll be swimming in presents, I speak no lie!"

Watching from the roof, the Jolly-Man shook his head,

"These two," he said, "should be asleep in their bed."

Silent and stealthy, the elf leapt from the sky,

"Stop you hooligans! I'll tell you why!"

"Santa!" Naruto cried, "here to take our haul!"

"Not a chance," Hinata growled, "we know how to maul!"

"You children should be at home and in bed sleeping,"

Not out here, plundering, stealing and keeping!

Like wraiths and shadows his minions came,

He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Come Grumpy, come Dopey, come Doc and Sleepy,

Circle them Bashful, Happy and Sneezy!

Get them you guys, you know the gist,

These two have just made my naughty list!"

"He brought muscle!" Naruto yelled, looking around in fear,

"Worry not," Hinata decreed, "for they're smaller than our peers!"

Santa watched in wide-eyed shock at the tussle,

The blonde elf was wrong, he needed even _more_ muscle!

Fallen and groaning, the elves lay on the ground a single one not winning,

Standing tall, the blonde and the Hyuuga stood there grinning.

The Hyuuga maiden bowed, "That was fun, Santa, we had a ball,"

"No matter how hard you try, the presents, we'll take them all!"

Shocked and surprised, Santa watched them leave,

"Those little hooligans, now I'm peeved!"

He followed them silent, bound and determined,

To get the presents, the hooligans had aforementioned.

Long into the night, the bandits ransacked the town,

Stealing and taking, they went all around,.

Until their sleigh was full high, they took, plundered and pillaged,

Then Santa smiled, as they made it to the orphanage.

Silent as night and obviously with a goal,

The two children, he realized, would not be getting coal.

They had brought Christmas to this dreary house,

Gifting their stolen presents even quieter than a mouse.

"I'm sorry, you hooligans," Santa said as they met in the park,

"I thought you two were going wrong, evil and dark."

The Hyuuga maiden smiled and hugged the man from his tizzy,

"Don't worry Santa, we know you're really busy."

"I'm not sure why I'm dressed as an elf, but it's okay with me,"

The blue-eyed boy said merrily, "do you think you could add in a tree?"

With a twinkle in his eye and a jolly laugh, Santa waved his hand,

Only to bring a gorgeous tree into existence along with a tiny elf band.

"They'll awaken to music, good cheer and joy,

Each of the children with a smile and a toy!

Both of you, however, knocked out my elf helpers,

Now I'm without help, for all the toys for the young whippersnappers."

The two children looked at each other and yelped,

"But Santa! They needed toys, it couldn't be helped!"

Santa reached down and picked the two up,

Taking them to his ride, above where the kids slept.

"I am without elves for this Christmas day,

So the two of you, shall help me in my sleigh."

With a snap of his fingers, Hinata no longer looked like herself,

She was now dressed in the brown and green, with the ears of an elf.

"You've given them the spirit of Christmas this day,

Which they would not have had, any other way.

For that you're okay and I'll take you with me,

Spreading good cheer on this Christmas spree!"

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"


End file.
